Recently two individuals asked me about finding forgiveness. Both were feeling forgiveness was out of reach.
It puts a person in a terrible state when they feel forgiveness is being withheld from their God.
Adam and Eve apparently knew that feeling when God came looking for them. They didn’t know what to do so they hid – tried to cover up their “wrong”.
Thru the ages mankind has sought reconciliation with his God. There’s such a desire somehow to know that we’re in Gods’ good graces. When we feel we’re not, we’re miserable.
Seeking Gods’ forgiveness has brought about all kinds of sacrifices and still does. Modern day sacrifices are likely to include money and time and perhaps something the individual loves that he deems worth giving up for God.
These folks typically believe in Jesus and even believe that he died for their sins. They also believe that forgiveness only comes thru believing in the sacrifice of Jesus.
So where is the breakdown?
Humanity as a whole seems to be in love with this idea: “There is something terribly wrong with me and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
This belief is at the root of most if not all of our problems.
In spite of thinking there is nothing that can be done about it, lifetimes are spent trying anyway. Look again at Adam and Eve. They did something about their wrongness – but was it enough? No! They still hid from God.
And so it goes. We determine that there is something terribly wrong with us, our parents teach us, society teaches us, religion teaches us – it’s a belief driven home on a daily basis. Then we consume our lives trying to fix that wrong even though we really can’t put a finger on it.
Try it now – what is it that is so wrong about you? Are you just owning the sin of the first parents? That’s assumed wrong. Don’t settle for that. Drill down and get to the bottom of your wrongness. What is it that makes you so wrong?
You’re a child of God. He made you. He loves you. You say you believe all this.
Did God screw up when He made you?
“No”, you say, (shudder – we would never say God screwed up) “I’m a sinner and need forgiveness.
I guess God is in the business of making sinners so He can fix them?
We as Christians believe and teach that Jesus, the perfect Son of God died for your sins so you could be forgiven.
You believe that. You believe in Jesus and His sacrifice for you.
So why do you struggle with forgiveness?
Is your belief that something is wrong stronger than your belief that you’re forgiven?
If so, guess what? You don’t accept forgiveness.
Throughout the Bible people couldn’t accept the provision God made for their wrongness.
Adam and Eve couldn’t accept the skins and be okay with that. They had to have some kind of punishment. I guess that makes it better.
It seems to me that God kept trying throughout scripture to help men understand His forgiveness but they just couldn’t accept it.
So there were years and years of animal sacrifices – even occasional human sacrifices. Finally God sent His Son as the Ultimate Sacrifice to make atonement once and for all.
Was it enough? Not for most folks.
Thousands of believers refuse to accept the very sacrifice they claim faith in. They constantly try to do things to stay in God’s graces. They create systems of rules and bind themselves and others to them. They cannot keep all the rules they create and so they constantly must beg forgiveness for breaking them. They keep their “wrongness” belief alive and well throughout this roller coaster ride.
So if you’re looking for forgiveness and feeling you can’t find it, take a look at what is wrong with you. Ask yourself if the sacrifice of Jesus is enough to cover that. (It is.) Then let it go!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
My life has not been easy and loving and forgiving myself has not been an easy task. This is the simple way I forgive and love myself. I look at me again – but now through God’s eyes.
I have a picture of me when I was 3 years old. I look happy in this picture and wonder where that little girl has gone. Some days I look at that picture and cry because of what I know she will be going through. I become my own mother. I tell that little girl that I love her and that she is a strong woman. On the “good days” I tell that little girl she is going to have a really good day
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I look at the picture of me on my wedding day and see the smile on her face and wonder where those smiles have gone and why have her dreams disappeared. I tell this young bride how much I love her and I cry because I know, no one can prepare her to face how hard her life will be. I tell her to hold on to the “good days” because they will be the memories that get her through the “bad days”. I know she doesn’t understand what I am trying to tell her. I am afraid to tell her about her feelings in this marriage, the pain of wanting to surrender her life, when she would believe her self worth to have no value and so many days that will overflow with tears and new feelings of regret. I tell her how much I love her but each day I know she will find it harder to hear and more impossible to believe and I cry because she will be in so much pain and in silence she will suffer. I see so many of her “very bad days” but I know she will someday feel how much she is loved and she will find the inner strength to believe it. I tell her when the day comes and she has the courage to leave her marriage do not to feel guilty, her husband will be angry, her children will be okay and she will begin the process of healing. I tell her the pain of healing will be much different than the pain she has been suffering. I tell her how proud I am of her and with each new smile she will have many “very good days” ahead.
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I look at our family picture and I see a young mother smiling and I cry because I know in a few years her eyes will become sad and distant. I tell her how much she will be loved by her children and I cry because I know she doubts she is the right mother for them. I tell her all they need is to feel loved and remind her how she felt this kind of love from her parents. I tell her to be strong because only she was chosen to be their mother. I tell that sad mother again and again that I love her and that she is a very strong woman. I tell her on the “bad days” to listen to her children more and worry less because they will feel her love without words. I tell her to be patient with herself, love herself and be ready when her children return love to her. I tell her that when her love is returned, she will then experience tears of joy and those “good days” will become her “very best days”.
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I look at the picture of me in my First Communion dress. She looked so happy to be one of Gods children and this young lady has no doubts about God’s love for her. I tell her to embrace this truth because when fear and loneness surround her she will feel that He has abandoned her and out of guilt and shame she will try to hide from Him. I don’t want to tell her about the times of darkness that will come into her life and I cry because she will find it so hard to feel God’s presence from her feelings of despair. I tell her she is a strong woman, her faith is stronger than despair and she will never be without God’s love. I cry for her, I want to cry with her on her “darkest days” and she will remember when she is able to feel God holding her close. I tell her not to worry about her children and to be patient. I tell her how frustrating it will become when her children loose their way to church and it will feel like they have lost their way to God. I tell her to over look the building and celebrate the “very good days” she will visit church from within their souls. I whisper to her, God will speak to your children for you and they will listen in the same way you heard Him while wearing your First Communion dress and this will be one of her really “good days”.
Kathleen
Thanks once again for that. Wow! That’s an amazing way to work on forgiving yourself.
I have learned that all forgiveness is self-forgiveness – and self-forgiveness is the hardest kind to perform.
Someone once said “Anyone who says that forgiveness is easy has never forgiven.”
Robert