A friend of mine recently offered to share a something very personal with me – an experience with God that was new to her. Of course, I was interested.
After reading it I begged her to allow me to share it with all of you here who visit BeStillKnowGod.com. Even though it wasn’t really written for “public consumption” she agreed to my request!
My friend has expressed better than I what it really means to experience God through stillness. I believe you’ll be amazed!
As you read her account you’ll likely notice that it is written from a Christian perspective and yet free of any heavy Christian religious overtones – I certainly did.
God is so much more than the judgments that comprise any religion or religious system.
Read and enjoy and share your comments!
Only time will tell what it is all about. To make a judgment now would be to interrupt something which is happening, which at this stage, I cannot explain.
These are the thoughts which have been gently coming into my mind in the past while. A few weeks back, it all began when I began to grow over a few days, into an increasing and gradual awareness of the ‘bigness’ of GOD. It was something I could not explain, and when I tried to explain it to a few people, some of them looked at me as though I had gone a bit crazy! I don’t blame them, as I had no idea about it myself! But, I could not ignore nor deny it.
Over those few days, God became bigger and bigger until for the first time ever in my consciousness, He exceeded everything I could see, hear, think or imagine. He exceeded for the first time, my beliefs, and all my understandings. And He exceeded by far, all He has ever revealed to me. He became even far bigger than my Revelation and knowledge of Christ. Can I add here, that He pretty much stopped being a “He” and became much, much bigger that even that! It grew to such proportions, it was as though I was standing in the middle of something so vast, there truly was no ending.
Consequently, a couple of things evolved from this. Firstly, I began to feel somewhat alone. It was a strange sensation. I believe this deeply ‘alone’ sensation came from the fact that God had grown so vast that this very knowledge and sensation was impossible to explain. In being unable to explain it, nor even try, left me in this new place of alone-ness.
Secondly, everything in my current existence became extremely small and insignificant. All my knowledge, beliefs, understandings and awareness dissipated into this vastness, leaving me in this new state of having grown past them all and I was now standing in a new open field which had no ending. It was as though, due to everything becoming so small, it was now left far behind in a ‘past’ life, and now I had somehow been transported into a place where as far as the eye could see, there was only space, nothingness.
I am suspecting this means there has been a shift in my consciousness – or something like that. I am not a ‘scientific’ person, therefore cannot explain it.
Let me explain very quickly, that I feel no sense of bigness in myself in all this. I don’t even feel small. I feel neither proud nor humble. In fact, I don’t really feel much at all. It is indeed a strange place.
I feel that I have somehow left everything of the Earth and all it’s pulsating energy which includes, amongst many other things, all the struggles between self and the Holy Spirit within me. It is as though I have been a fetus in the womb, for a long time – growing, and conscious at every moment of the day and night, in my dark little cave, of the person carrying me, her every little sound and movement from every part of her body; and from all those around her as she lived her daily life. It was constant noise and clatter for a long, long time.
Then suddenly all goes quiet. Totally, totally silent.
Where I am today, I am still present here on the Earth, living, moving in a daily life. And of course, still my same old self with all it’s not-so-pretty bits alongside Christ’s improvements within me! However, my Spirit and consciousness is what has moved somewhere else… so more than ever, I am in two parts.
It is such a silent place. And all I am doing here today, is standing. Looking around, using my senses to try and familiarize myself with all that must be there but which I am not yet sensing. I seem to know that in this vast field of ‘nothing’ and silence right now, that once I finally stay still long enough and become aware and adjust to what is there, that in actual fact, there is lots of action, happenings, creativity, sound, etc (FAR different from ‘Earth’s sounds’) to be heard and seen. As yet, I cannot, but my sense tells me that just as I gradually grew into this ‘Bigness of God’, I will gradually become aware of all there is in this new place.
Regarding Christ. This is obviously the first question people will ask me if I attempted to explain this new thing – alarm bells would have begun ringing the moment I wrote this above: “He became even far bigger than my Revelation and knowledge of Christ.” So has Christ changed for me now? Has He gone? Have I left Him behind? Am I in a place bigger (and better?) than Jesus? No! Not at all! I sit here quietly at the computer typing, pondering, and meditating on, and considering where Christ is in this picture. I know He is here…
Ahhhh, He IS the energy, the Light in this new place. He is no longer a ‘being’ or a ‘piece’ of something. He and God ARE this place. Back where I was, (a few weeks ago) it was almost as though Jesus was ‘here’ or ‘there’ and I held conversations with a ‘being’. But here, in this place, I am living IN HIM. He isn’t someone to see and talk with, but He is like the wind, which is part of me, and blows in and through and around me. He is part of my thoughts… we think together… and when I begin to move, we will move together, because somehow, in some mysterious way, we are now one. He is in me and I in Him. It is almost like Christ, and God are a ‘place’ and I am standing in Them. They are the field. I stand in that field. Yet, for all that, at the same time, they ARE ‘beings’ or Spirits. They are ‘singular’ beings , and at the same time, they are consciousness. (Perhaps consciousness is another word for energy. Light is energy. Love is energy….Is that what I am standing in?)
I looked in some dictionaries what the word ‘consciousness’ might mean and nothing explained what I am trying so hard to express. So I came up with my own definition! By saying that God and Jesus are consciousness, I am saying they just ‘are’. No wonder God said, I AM that I AM. In my mind, that very expression today for me is how I can explain ‘consciousness’. The I AM.
When we were children, Mum and Dad told us God is everywhere. We used to touch this or that; point here or there, and say “God is here! God is there!” And we said these things in our childish ways; but now I say the very same things! And truly – He IS here! He IS there! There is no place that he isn’t! HE IS that HE IS!
So, Christ isn’t left behind. He hasn’t become ‘small’ or even obsolete. He is here in this new place but in a far, far greater capacity. He is no longer the one who died for my sins on the Cross; but He is the ‘rest’ which is beyond the cross. The cross enabled this ‘rest’ to be a place I can come into. The cross was the gateway through which I had to come, to be able to be where I seem to be standing now.
I cannot understand much yet what this is all about. But I do know one thing, and that is to stand still and wait. On one level, my natural, earthly life continues, as it should/must and can only do. Plans, daily doings etc. But on this other level, I merely feel a desire to stand still, and from this one spot, look around, look in the different directions, very slowly, and allow my spirit and soul to open up into whatever there is to be opened up into! I feel extremely safe, and I know this whole ‘place’ is about The mighty LORD GOD and the Christ.
I believe, that what has happened is due to the grace of God pouring out His Spirit upon His Children (Joel prophecy) and even though I feel so alone standing here, it is only because I cannot yet see others who are also here in this place yet. Once I become adjusted to the new consciousness I am in, I know I am going to see others who have come here before me, and then watch as others arrive. It is a very blessed and beautiful place to be.
The thing I am currently loving the most, is the silence. It is a beautiful, peaceful, all pervading silence which seems to go right through me, entering every bone of my body. Every single part of my being is drinking in this silence. It is so healing, so fulfilling, and so what I feel I have been crying out for since I was ever born.
Yet – for all this, it is so subtle that I almost wonder if I am imagining it! Am I? But no, I pondered on it, and as subtle as the faintest wisp it might be, it is there. Maybe it is still so new that I am like a new babe born – a new baby only knows it is alive, and hungry and needing comfort. I too, know of an inexpressible silence, a new level of peace, and an ‘aloneness’, but I feel alive, and a new awakening thirst in me for ‘something more’. My aloneness is not a frightening thing, because God and I are one. I have His Life in me. I am fulfilled. But like that new babe, it must grow. By it’s very nature, it will grow. I will too, and as each day passes, I am becoming more adjusted, and tonight, as I write, I look eagerly forward to opening up more and more into this newness of Life and whatever it holds!
Nothing of Christ has gone.
This is only more.